So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
