So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
