I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
