there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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