all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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