You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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