We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
