If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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