ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
