All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
