don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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