I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
