woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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