i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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