and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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