I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
