I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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