There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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