her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
did you just send me my own nude
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
