she looked like the before picture.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
