I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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