it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Operation Purity has been aborted
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
