He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
