For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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