omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
