Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
