Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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