There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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