I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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