I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize