i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
