I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
