Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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