so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
