do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
