It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
