Do you still have your period?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
