Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
