Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
