So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
