thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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