You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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