Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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