am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
