Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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