i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
