So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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