Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
