if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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