i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
