I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
