Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
