For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize