He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
