Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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