I didn't shave. On purpose
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
