I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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