yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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