Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
