A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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