My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You ruined the universe
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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