she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
