I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
