whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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