one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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