It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
