He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
